Annual Gobble-Gobble Plunge

Well folks, it's that time of year again. I've now had 352 requests about my turkey diving story... (yes, I'm anal enough to go and count them) - "when are you going to post turkey diving?" "I want to read turkey diving again" "Isn't it turkey diving time?"

So this is for all of you... And if you haven't experienced turkey diving yet, I expect you to try it and I wanna hear all about it!

TURKEY DIVING
After much interest in a post where I mentioned turkey diving -(and don't forget the prodding and threats from my wonderful readership) - This story's for you!

Our Safeway does this great thing before Thanksgiving where turkeys go on sale (this really shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone). Anyway, it will have the really nice, brand-name turkeys for a deal - like up to a 14 pounder for a few bucks, and then over a 14 pounder for a couple bucks more. The key - is getting the most turkey poundage for your buck, right? Everyone with me so far?

Okay. So - the only way to really do this is to DIG through all of the turkeys in the freezer bins. Most people don't go to the trouble of intense searching, they see the sign and think, "ooh, turkeys are on sale" - and grab one. How do I know this? Many years of observation, that's how!

Let me tell you, those people disappoint me. Where's the fun in that? There is none! So...This is what I do:
Go to the store with several friends- (it's even more fun if they have a child or two with them... you'll understand in a minute)- Head to those turkey freezers and everyone stake out territory. Then, you dig. And there are rules: You MUST look at every turkey in the freezer. Yes, I said EVERY turkey. And if you are too short to reach all the way in, you yell, "I'm goin' in!" One of your faithful friends will help you by holding your legs so that you can "dive" in. Another option is to throw a small child in to help you look (not literally - you don't really think I would do that, now do you?) Actually, you can hold the child's legs while they reach for that last one in the corner that no-one else can get to, but you just KNOW that's it's the biggest one in the freezer!

The other important thing to remember - is to sing! Yes, you heard me. Sing. My personal favorite is "I love you a bushel and a peck, a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck..." This is great fun while turkey diving.

So, now you have the turkey diving story. I'm going to have to trademark it since everyone will know what I'm talking about. :)

This Thanksgiving season, I'll be watching for all you newbie "turkey divers" -- just don't come to MY Safeway -- I already have it staked out.
~kimberley woodhouse, copyright 2005

Things I Learned...

I just returned from a six-week book/speaking tour for the launch of my book, Welcome Home.
Over the period of travel for this trip, I learned some valuable lessons that I think others should know, should they decide to venture out on a similar endeavor.

Now, I should give you a disclaimer: I have been touring for almost 12 years with my speaking and music ministry - but I'm still learning - as you will discover below. :)

Things I learned on my six-week tour:

• Water is precious. This I know firsthand, from living in Colorado where we pay a pretty penny for our water. But in an RV - water is REALLY precious - especially hot water.
• The inability to use cruise control for over 6,000 miles - while pulling George (the aforementioned RV) through heavy wind and up and down hills... not a good thing. I still have a cramp in my leg.
• Aggressive, climbing snakes should be dealt with immediately if seen in close proximity to George. Trust me on this one. (Thanks, Erica.)
• Lots of rain and wood blocks attract ants. 'Nough said.
• Lack of reliable internet for six weeks while trying to work on my "marketing" - doesn't work too well.
• Blackberries (my phones) that malfunction a week and a half into the trip - do not help the above situation. Especially when I couldn't use a "y," "t," "i," "u," "d," or "5" in any of my correspondence.
• It is not the best idea to rely on people who have never pulled a trailer to assist/direct in backing up trailer.
• Someone will inevitably think you're the coolest person around and ask you to sign their arm. (I had three!)
• Always bring candy to booksignings. It opens the door for great conversations.
• Always know where the bathroom is at booksignings. (Trust me, you'll get asked.)
• Always be ready to twiddle your thumbs at booksignings. Be comfortable sitting there by yourself if need be.
• When you're fortunate enough to sign so many books that the bookstore manager just about kisses your feet for being there - praise God, and be thankful. Remember the other signings where you signed five, and praise God for keeping you humble.
• Be ready to sign your book any time, any place. For instance - the bathroom, or perhaps when you're dumping sewage. (See the previous blog post if the "dumping sewage" part threw you off.)
• Bring lots of shoes. Just make sure you can get to them when you need them.
• I love talking to kids. Elementary, Junior High, High School students. I had a ball talking to schools - and they seemed to have fun, too.
• I really, really, really, really, really, really, like my own bed. And my home. I appreciate it all even more now.
• I have some of the greatest friends in the world. Thanks for coming to see us and support us - and for the refreshment along the way.
• My kids, Josh and Kayla, are the most amazing, inspiring, and wonderful kids around. (Okay, so I already knew that - but wow, they made the trip even better!)
• Even if just one person's life was touched or changed, it was worth it.