We're all good at judging, aren't we?
I realize that no matter how hard I try, there will always be someone who doesn't understand my parenting, or our situation. And I am, for the most part, a people-pleaser -- so that makes it more difficult. But over the years, I've had situations happen -- like the one I'm about to tell you -- that have helped to teach me, that sometimes, it really doesn't matter. Some people just won't "get it." Ever. And I don't have to feel bad or beat myself up because of it.
My children were recently participants in a two-day swim meet. It was an exciting event, and Josh and Kayla had worked hard to prepare for it. They LOVE swimming and spend several hours each day working out with their team and at the YMCA.
Anyway, this long meet presented new challenges for us because of our need to keep Kayla cool. So, Jeremy stayed with Josh and our other "fans" out on deck, watching the meet -- while Kayla and I hung out in the air-conditioned "hospitality room." The room is a nice retreat for all the coaches and officials to get a drink, a bite to eat, or just a moment of quiet - away from the constant chaos of the fast-paced event.
Kayla participated in five different events, and Josh in three. In between, Kayla would dry off and we'd head for the cool sanctuary. At one point, we'd been in and out for our different events, and there was an official sitting in the corner, going over her paper-work. She frowned at me and watched Kayla sit down with her book. I wasn't quite sure if we'd invaded her space, or if she was unhappy with something else I'd done, but I tried to settle in with Kayla and read.
A few moments later, this woman stood up to leave and she glared in my direction. "Isn't it too cold in here for your swimmer?"
I tried to smile sweetly with my response, "She doesn't sweat."
Before I could explain any further, she pointed at me and scolded, "You should be keeping your swimmer warm." Mumbling under her breath, she left the room.
I felt terrible. She obviously thought I was a horrible mom for freezing my wet child in between swim events. And what made it even worse in my mind is the fact that I didn't have the chance to explain and probably never would. So she had no clue that we were trying to keep Kayla from getting TOO warm in the midst of hundreds upon hundreds of human bodies putting off body heat.
After I sank to the depths of drowning in my own self-deprecation, I had a shocking revelation. It didn't matter. She may have judged me, but it didn't change the fact that I was doing what was best for my child. She didn't have all the facts, so I couldn't expect her to understand.
It made me think about all the times I've judged people in my mind not fully knowing all the facts myself. It's a scary thing. In the grocery store, at church, at swim team. Ouch.
So my thought is this -- maybe we could all work on that this week. One person at a time, one situation at a time, one day at a time.
What do you think?
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
Valentine's Day Mushiness
Love is in the air. (Or is that the alluring aroma of the pecan pie I made for my husband?)
Since Saturday is Valentine's Day, I'd like this to be an interactive-let's-write-something-ooey-gooey kind of post.
I think everyone should share something mushy. A mushy story of you and your spouse. Or, it could be an almost-coulda-been-mushy-turned-hilarious kind of story. Or even an I-wish-this-would-happen-to-me kind of story.
Who's game?
---
And just to get everyone started, here's mine:
For Valentine's Day eighteen years ago, the man who is now my husband presented me with a teddy bear holding a little box. In that little box was the yummiest piece of chocolate ever. (And I am a chocolate snob! So my man knew his stuff.)
As the morsel melted in my mouth, I hugged my sweet guy. We were in Bible College, and neither of us had much money, so his gift meant even more.
Taking my hand he walked me down the hill toward my dorm. Suddenly, he stopped and proclaimed, "Hold on! I forgot something!"
He reached into his pocket and pulled out another little box. This time, the box contained an engagement ring. And I've worn it ever since.
---
Now, if you'd like to post a little story, just click on the comments button. And if we don't get very many, I'll know that you are all out there creating new romantic moments to share!
Love is in the air...
_______
Kimberley Woodhouse is a wife, mother, author, and musician with a quick wit and positive outlook despite difficult circumstances. A popular speaker, she’s shared at more than 600 venues across the country. Kimberley and her family's story have garnered national media attention for many years, but most recently her family was chosen for ABC's Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, The Montel Williams Show, and Discovery Health channel’s Mystery ER which premiered in 2008. Her story, Welcome Home: Our Family’s Journey to Extreme Joy, releases in September 2009 from Focus on the Family. Kimberley lives, writes, and homeschools in Colorado with her husband and two children in their truly “extreme” home.
kimberleywoodhouse.com
Since Saturday is Valentine's Day, I'd like this to be an interactive-let's-write-something-ooey-gooey kind of post.
I think everyone should share something mushy. A mushy story of you and your spouse. Or, it could be an almost-coulda-been-mushy-turned-hilarious kind of story. Or even an I-wish-this-would-happen-to-me kind of story.
Who's game?
---
And just to get everyone started, here's mine:
For Valentine's Day eighteen years ago, the man who is now my husband presented me with a teddy bear holding a little box. In that little box was the yummiest piece of chocolate ever. (And I am a chocolate snob! So my man knew his stuff.)
As the morsel melted in my mouth, I hugged my sweet guy. We were in Bible College, and neither of us had much money, so his gift meant even more.
Taking my hand he walked me down the hill toward my dorm. Suddenly, he stopped and proclaimed, "Hold on! I forgot something!"
He reached into his pocket and pulled out another little box. This time, the box contained an engagement ring. And I've worn it ever since.
---
Now, if you'd like to post a little story, just click on the comments button. And if we don't get very many, I'll know that you are all out there creating new romantic moments to share!
Love is in the air...
_______
Kimberley Woodhouse is a wife, mother, author, and musician with a quick wit and positive outlook despite difficult circumstances. A popular speaker, she’s shared at more than 600 venues across the country. Kimberley and her family's story have garnered national media attention for many years, but most recently her family was chosen for ABC's Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, The Montel Williams Show, and Discovery Health channel’s Mystery ER which premiered in 2008. Her story, Welcome Home: Our Family’s Journey to Extreme Joy, releases in September 2009 from Focus on the Family. Kimberley lives, writes, and homeschools in Colorado with her husband and two children in their truly “extreme” home.
kimberleywoodhouse.com
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Neighbors
We had the experience of being the first home built in our neighborhood. We've been here a year and a half (roughly), and many homes have sprouted since.
A couple of months ago, the kiddos and I made cookies to bring to all the neighbors. Wouldn't you know, not one neighbor was home when we went to deliver them! :) Yes, I know, my life.
Anyway, we will of course, try again - but today, I had a wonderful introduction.
My neighbor who lives behind us stopped by. A beautiful, and incredibly sweet lady - I felt an instant connection. She had stayed away for awhile, like many of our neighbors, because of the whole TV thing. (I have to say that the respect for our privacy has been wonderful and generous.) But I'm so thankful she dropped by today.
We have an odd situation. We don't get out much, so it's hard to get to know most people. The temperature we live in, is also a little too extreme for most people. (I often get cold myself, and I have acclimated to this for years.) LOL
So, my rambling today is just to say how thankful I am for neighbors. I'm thankful for precious people who understand our "weirdness" and love us anyway. And I'm thankful for God bringing new people into our lives.
A couple of months ago, the kiddos and I made cookies to bring to all the neighbors. Wouldn't you know, not one neighbor was home when we went to deliver them! :) Yes, I know, my life.
Anyway, we will of course, try again - but today, I had a wonderful introduction.
My neighbor who lives behind us stopped by. A beautiful, and incredibly sweet lady - I felt an instant connection. She had stayed away for awhile, like many of our neighbors, because of the whole TV thing. (I have to say that the respect for our privacy has been wonderful and generous.) But I'm so thankful she dropped by today.
We have an odd situation. We don't get out much, so it's hard to get to know most people. The temperature we live in, is also a little too extreme for most people. (I often get cold myself, and I have acclimated to this for years.) LOL
So, my rambling today is just to say how thankful I am for neighbors. I'm thankful for precious people who understand our "weirdness" and love us anyway. And I'm thankful for God bringing new people into our lives.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Hypocrites
Ouch. Just the title hurts, doesn't it?
The definition of hypocrite according to Encarta's Online Dictionary is:
"somebody who pretends to have admirable principles, beliefs, or feelings but behaves otherwise"
We're all hypocrites at one point or another. Did you read that? Did I step on your toes? We're all imperfect. We're all sinners.
So you may be wondering why I am writing about this topic. Well, there's been this little thorn in my flesh for a while. Someone who has a leadership role who portrays themself as a model Christian - slandered against us, lied about us, was jealous of us, and just plain ol' hurt our family. I really had to work on forgiving and forgetting. And I mean WORK. It took a long time. But every time something happens that brings up this person or the unfortunate situation - I have to forgive all over again. And it's not always easy.
Another incident took place recently that riled me up. Bringing up all the wounds, all the hurt, all the ANGER. And what did I call this person?
Hypocrite. As the words left my mouth, I felt a little conviction. But I was still too mad to listen. And I continued to think of this person as a hypocrite. And just to be honest and show you my own imperfection, I had other names as well - coward, chicken, mamby-pamby, evil. Yes, I called this person evil.
I didn't sleep well that night. (And I wondered why? LOL) The next morning, during my Bible Study, I had another one of my 2x4 moments. (Yes, that's when I feel like God has to get my attention - and it literally feels like I've been struck - I'm hard-headed, yes, I know.)
I was convicted because we're all sinners. Sin is sin to God. And as much as it hurt, I had to admit I've often been a hypocrite myself. Every time I sin, every time my behavior doesn't back up my beliefs. Ouch.
My husband and I have stated since this fiasco started that if the world equated Christianity with this one person's example - we really didn't want to be associated with Christians. I know that comes across harsh, doesn't it? But let me explain. We want to be associated with Christ. Christians are often all lumped into one big group - and if the only example the world is seeing is an "ugly" example, then we, as Christians have failed. And there are lots of ugly examples. The enemy loves to tear apart Christian ministries, marriages, homes - all in an attempt to win a battle. The question is this, are we willing to fight in the battle? Or are we unwilling to put ourselves out there? Wanting to stay on the sidelines and watch, stay out of harm's way, not risk anything we've worked so hard to build?
Christians have gotten too caught up in wanting to be "liked" more than others in their church, having more members in their church, having more offerings in their plates, having more programs, having more buildings. And I'm not saying that all of these things are bad. I'm saying that our focus has gotten lost. It's not on Christ anymore if it's on numbers, money, or which pastor is liked better than the other.
So, I'm sitting here thinking about these things because my children are very intelligent. They are almost 12 and 14 years old. They are with me ALL the time. They see everything I do, and hear everything I say. Am I being a good example of a Christian to them? Or am I being an example of a hypocrite? Are YOU willing to ask yourself the same questions?
What about going beyond your home? What about your co-workers? Your church family? Your writer's group?
I'm hoping that this post has made you think a little. I know I've been doing a lot of thinking on the subject. I'm working every day on my behavior matching up with my beliefs. Always asking how Christ would handle the situation.
And always remembering John 13:35 "By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." (NIV)
...and Romans 12:10 "Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves." (NIV)
...and I Peter 1:22 "Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart." (NIV)
...and Matthew 28:19-20 "Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age." (NASB)
The definition of hypocrite according to Encarta's Online Dictionary is:
"somebody who pretends to have admirable principles, beliefs, or feelings but behaves otherwise"
We're all hypocrites at one point or another. Did you read that? Did I step on your toes? We're all imperfect. We're all sinners.
So you may be wondering why I am writing about this topic. Well, there's been this little thorn in my flesh for a while. Someone who has a leadership role who portrays themself as a model Christian - slandered against us, lied about us, was jealous of us, and just plain ol' hurt our family. I really had to work on forgiving and forgetting. And I mean WORK. It took a long time. But every time something happens that brings up this person or the unfortunate situation - I have to forgive all over again. And it's not always easy.
Another incident took place recently that riled me up. Bringing up all the wounds, all the hurt, all the ANGER. And what did I call this person?
Hypocrite. As the words left my mouth, I felt a little conviction. But I was still too mad to listen. And I continued to think of this person as a hypocrite. And just to be honest and show you my own imperfection, I had other names as well - coward, chicken, mamby-pamby, evil. Yes, I called this person evil.
I didn't sleep well that night. (And I wondered why? LOL) The next morning, during my Bible Study, I had another one of my 2x4 moments. (Yes, that's when I feel like God has to get my attention - and it literally feels like I've been struck - I'm hard-headed, yes, I know.)
I was convicted because we're all sinners. Sin is sin to God. And as much as it hurt, I had to admit I've often been a hypocrite myself. Every time I sin, every time my behavior doesn't back up my beliefs. Ouch.
My husband and I have stated since this fiasco started that if the world equated Christianity with this one person's example - we really didn't want to be associated with Christians. I know that comes across harsh, doesn't it? But let me explain. We want to be associated with Christ. Christians are often all lumped into one big group - and if the only example the world is seeing is an "ugly" example, then we, as Christians have failed. And there are lots of ugly examples. The enemy loves to tear apart Christian ministries, marriages, homes - all in an attempt to win a battle. The question is this, are we willing to fight in the battle? Or are we unwilling to put ourselves out there? Wanting to stay on the sidelines and watch, stay out of harm's way, not risk anything we've worked so hard to build?
Christians have gotten too caught up in wanting to be "liked" more than others in their church, having more members in their church, having more offerings in their plates, having more programs, having more buildings. And I'm not saying that all of these things are bad. I'm saying that our focus has gotten lost. It's not on Christ anymore if it's on numbers, money, or which pastor is liked better than the other.
So, I'm sitting here thinking about these things because my children are very intelligent. They are almost 12 and 14 years old. They are with me ALL the time. They see everything I do, and hear everything I say. Am I being a good example of a Christian to them? Or am I being an example of a hypocrite? Are YOU willing to ask yourself the same questions?
What about going beyond your home? What about your co-workers? Your church family? Your writer's group?
I'm hoping that this post has made you think a little. I know I've been doing a lot of thinking on the subject. I'm working every day on my behavior matching up with my beliefs. Always asking how Christ would handle the situation.
And always remembering John 13:35 "By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." (NIV)
...and Romans 12:10 "Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves." (NIV)
...and I Peter 1:22 "Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart." (NIV)
...and Matthew 28:19-20 "Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age." (NASB)
Sunday, January 11, 2009
What is Dad Doing?
Christmas morning was sunny and cold. A beautiful day.
We slept in, had a leisurely breakfast, shared in praise, and opened gifts. We had a lot of fun as we watched each other "ooh" and "aah" over the special presents selected out of love.
Jeremy walked around with a trash bag picking up the wrapping paper as the children studied new items. Pretty soon he disappeared into the garage and came out carrying a few poles. The kiddos looked up and watched him go out the back door. Josh and Kayla glanced at each other and shrugged their shoulders. Sometimes Dad did weird things, right?
He came back inside, heading for the garage. A second time, he traipsed through carrying straps, a net, and a few more poles.
"What is Dad doing?" Josh asked.
Kayla piped up, "Daddy, what are you up to?" (She's a smart kid. And yes, he's usually up to something.)
Jeremy didn't answer, and just smiled as he made another trip.
Kayla grabbed her brother's arm. "Let's go see what he's doing!"
And yet another trip for Jeremy through the house and into the garage, as the kids followed him and spied the box.
Kayla came racing into the house and jumped up and down. "It's a..." She screwed up her face as she tried to find the appropriate word, "It's a jumpy-thingy-majiggy!!!!"
My daughter obviously gets her grasp of English vocabulary from her writer-mother. Because seriously, who named that apparatus a trampoline?
This afternoon, my mother-heart felt warm and fuzzy as I watched my beautiful children jump on their new toy in the thirty-something degree temps. It's so amazing to see Kayla be able to play outside. As she flew into the air, I heard the musical voices of my children's laughter. What a precious sound.
Josh told me later that we needed to use Kayla's name for it. Why? Because according to him, "it's funner." (Yes, I teach my children English in homeschool. That word is totally the result of my friend. Thank you oh so very much, Heather.)
So, if you're headed in this direction, we'd love to have you check out our new, "Jumpy-thingy-majiggy" complete with hours of exercise and fun-- as long as it's under 55 degrees outside.
We slept in, had a leisurely breakfast, shared in praise, and opened gifts. We had a lot of fun as we watched each other "ooh" and "aah" over the special presents selected out of love.
Jeremy walked around with a trash bag picking up the wrapping paper as the children studied new items. Pretty soon he disappeared into the garage and came out carrying a few poles. The kiddos looked up and watched him go out the back door. Josh and Kayla glanced at each other and shrugged their shoulders. Sometimes Dad did weird things, right?
He came back inside, heading for the garage. A second time, he traipsed through carrying straps, a net, and a few more poles.
"What is Dad doing?" Josh asked.
Kayla piped up, "Daddy, what are you up to?" (She's a smart kid. And yes, he's usually up to something.)
Jeremy didn't answer, and just smiled as he made another trip.
Kayla grabbed her brother's arm. "Let's go see what he's doing!"
And yet another trip for Jeremy through the house and into the garage, as the kids followed him and spied the box.
Kayla came racing into the house and jumped up and down. "It's a..." She screwed up her face as she tried to find the appropriate word, "It's a jumpy-thingy-majiggy!!!!"
My daughter obviously gets her grasp of English vocabulary from her writer-mother. Because seriously, who named that apparatus a trampoline?
This afternoon, my mother-heart felt warm and fuzzy as I watched my beautiful children jump on their new toy in the thirty-something degree temps. It's so amazing to see Kayla be able to play outside. As she flew into the air, I heard the musical voices of my children's laughter. What a precious sound.
Josh told me later that we needed to use Kayla's name for it. Why? Because according to him, "it's funner." (Yes, I teach my children English in homeschool. That word is totally the result of my friend. Thank you oh so very much, Heather.)
So, if you're headed in this direction, we'd love to have you check out our new, "Jumpy-thingy-majiggy" complete with hours of exercise and fun-- as long as it's under 55 degrees outside.
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