Who Am I?

This question has been swirling around in my brain for the past several months. Our lives have changed drastically with the national media coverage, EMHE, and books coming out. They were wonderful things, but I've been very hesitant to say that they changed me. I never wanted the negative connotation to come with it i.e. "Fame changed her." It just sounded wrong.

Anyway, with all the computer crash/virus/craziness, deadlines, interviews, and regular life as wife, mom, and homeschool teacher, I've taken a hiatus from a lot of article writing and blogging.

Some of this was a good idea. I needed a break. Some of this made me feel guilty - because I was just positive that I was letting everyone down (and that the wonderful marketing people would get mad at me - LOL). And some of this just helped me beat myself up even more - because who really wants to read anything from me anyway? Right?

So I kept going back to the Casting Crowns song - Who Am I? And another beautiful chorus - Beloved. They both ask the question - WHO AM I?

Then Psalm 139 kept finding its way into my Bible Study, prayer time, and the words echoed in my brain.

I wrote in Welcome Home that I just wanted to be the best "me" I can be. I've failed a lot. But I'm excited to see what God will do through me - this cracked and broken vessel.

It's okay to have life's circumstances change you. It's okay to wonder who you really are. It's okay to leave it in God's hands and say, "Lord, I'm willing. I just want to do my very best for You."

Do you ever ask that question? Lord, who am I? I'm so unworthy?
Well, just keep reminding yourself that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. He doesn't call the equipped. He equips the called. He's not expecting you to be perfect. He just wants you willing.

To go and do whatever He calls you to do.