Annual Gobble-Gobble Plunge

Well folks, it's that time of year again. I've now had 352 requests about my turkey diving story... (yes, I'm anal enough to go and count them) - "when are you going to post turkey diving?" "I want to read turkey diving again" "Isn't it turkey diving time?"

So this is for all of you... And if you haven't experienced turkey diving yet, I expect you to try it and I wanna hear all about it!

TURKEY DIVING
After much interest in a post where I mentioned turkey diving -(and don't forget the prodding and threats from my wonderful readership) - This story's for you!

Our Safeway does this great thing before Thanksgiving where turkeys go on sale (this really shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone). Anyway, it will have the really nice, brand-name turkeys for a deal - like up to a 14 pounder for a few bucks, and then over a 14 pounder for a couple bucks more. The key - is getting the most turkey poundage for your buck, right? Everyone with me so far?

Okay. So - the only way to really do this is to DIG through all of the turkeys in the freezer bins. Most people don't go to the trouble of intense searching, they see the sign and think, "ooh, turkeys are on sale" - and grab one. How do I know this? Many years of observation, that's how!

Let me tell you, those people disappoint me. Where's the fun in that? There is none! So...This is what I do:
Go to the store with several friends- (it's even more fun if they have a child or two with them... you'll understand in a minute)- Head to those turkey freezers and everyone stake out territory. Then, you dig. And there are rules: You MUST look at every turkey in the freezer. Yes, I said EVERY turkey. And if you are too short to reach all the way in, you yell, "I'm goin' in!" One of your faithful friends will help you by holding your legs so that you can "dive" in. Another option is to throw a small child in to help you look (not literally - you don't really think I would do that, now do you?) Actually, you can hold the child's legs while they reach for that last one in the corner that no-one else can get to, but you just KNOW that's it's the biggest one in the freezer!

The other important thing to remember - is to sing! Yes, you heard me. Sing. My personal favorite is "I love you a bushel and a peck, a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck..." This is great fun while turkey diving.

So, now you have the turkey diving story. I'm going to have to trademark it since everyone will know what I'm talking about. :)

This Thanksgiving season, I'll be watching for all you newbie "turkey divers" -- just don't come to MY Safeway -- I already have it staked out.
~kimberley woodhouse, copyright 2005