Annual Gobble-Gobble Plunge

Well folks, it's that time of year again. I've now had 352 requests about my turkey diving story... (yes, I'm anal enough to go and count them) - "when are you going to post turkey diving?" "I want to read turkey diving again" "Isn't it turkey diving time?"

So this is for all of you... And if you haven't experienced turkey diving yet, I expect you to try it and I wanna hear all about it!

TURKEY DIVING
After much interest in a post where I mentioned turkey diving -(and don't forget the prodding and threats from my wonderful readership) - This story's for you!

Our Safeway does this great thing before Thanksgiving where turkeys go on sale (this really shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone). Anyway, it will have the really nice, brand-name turkeys for a deal - like up to a 14 pounder for a few bucks, and then over a 14 pounder for a couple bucks more. The key - is getting the most turkey poundage for your buck, right? Everyone with me so far?

Okay. So - the only way to really do this is to DIG through all of the turkeys in the freezer bins. Most people don't go to the trouble of intense searching, they see the sign and think, "ooh, turkeys are on sale" - and grab one. How do I know this? Many years of observation, that's how!

Let me tell you, those people disappoint me. Where's the fun in that? There is none! So...This is what I do:
Go to the store with several friends- (it's even more fun if they have a child or two with them... you'll understand in a minute)- Head to those turkey freezers and everyone stake out territory. Then, you dig. And there are rules: You MUST look at every turkey in the freezer. Yes, I said EVERY turkey. And if you are too short to reach all the way in, you yell, "I'm goin' in!" One of your faithful friends will help you by holding your legs so that you can "dive" in. Another option is to throw a small child in to help you look (not literally - you don't really think I would do that, now do you?) Actually, you can hold the child's legs while they reach for that last one in the corner that no-one else can get to, but you just KNOW that's it's the biggest one in the freezer!

The other important thing to remember - is to sing! Yes, you heard me. Sing. My personal favorite is "I love you a bushel and a peck, a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck..." This is great fun while turkey diving.

So, now you have the turkey diving story. I'm going to have to trademark it since everyone will know what I'm talking about. :)

This Thanksgiving season, I'll be watching for all you newbie "turkey divers" -- just don't come to MY Safeway -- I already have it staked out.
~kimberley woodhouse, copyright 2005

Things I Learned...

I just returned from a six-week book/speaking tour for the launch of my book, Welcome Home.
Over the period of travel for this trip, I learned some valuable lessons that I think others should know, should they decide to venture out on a similar endeavor.

Now, I should give you a disclaimer: I have been touring for almost 12 years with my speaking and music ministry - but I'm still learning - as you will discover below. :)

Things I learned on my six-week tour:

• Water is precious. This I know firsthand, from living in Colorado where we pay a pretty penny for our water. But in an RV - water is REALLY precious - especially hot water.
• The inability to use cruise control for over 6,000 miles - while pulling George (the aforementioned RV) through heavy wind and up and down hills... not a good thing. I still have a cramp in my leg.
• Aggressive, climbing snakes should be dealt with immediately if seen in close proximity to George. Trust me on this one. (Thanks, Erica.)
• Lots of rain and wood blocks attract ants. 'Nough said.
• Lack of reliable internet for six weeks while trying to work on my "marketing" - doesn't work too well.
• Blackberries (my phones) that malfunction a week and a half into the trip - do not help the above situation. Especially when I couldn't use a "y," "t," "i," "u," "d," or "5" in any of my correspondence.
• It is not the best idea to rely on people who have never pulled a trailer to assist/direct in backing up trailer.
• Someone will inevitably think you're the coolest person around and ask you to sign their arm. (I had three!)
• Always bring candy to booksignings. It opens the door for great conversations.
• Always know where the bathroom is at booksignings. (Trust me, you'll get asked.)
• Always be ready to twiddle your thumbs at booksignings. Be comfortable sitting there by yourself if need be.
• When you're fortunate enough to sign so many books that the bookstore manager just about kisses your feet for being there - praise God, and be thankful. Remember the other signings where you signed five, and praise God for keeping you humble.
• Be ready to sign your book any time, any place. For instance - the bathroom, or perhaps when you're dumping sewage. (See the previous blog post if the "dumping sewage" part threw you off.)
• Bring lots of shoes. Just make sure you can get to them when you need them.
• I love talking to kids. Elementary, Junior High, High School students. I had a ball talking to schools - and they seemed to have fun, too.
• I really, really, really, really, really, really, like my own bed. And my home. I appreciate it all even more now.
• I have some of the greatest friends in the world. Thanks for coming to see us and support us - and for the refreshment along the way.
• My kids, Josh and Kayla, are the most amazing, inspiring, and wonderful kids around. (Okay, so I already knew that - but wow, they made the trip even better!)
• Even if just one person's life was touched or changed, it was worth it.

Life As an Author On the Road...

Oh, the glamorous life of an author! (Insert hysterical laughter here)

I giggle every time a new “fan” comes up to me and says with a dreamy sigh, “I would just love to be an author and travel around like you…”

While the life of ‘us writers’ (can you hear my southern twang?) is truly wonderful and constantly adventurous—it might not be as glamorous as you think.

So today is dedicated to stories from the road. I’m on a six-week book tour, getting the word out about my new release, Welcome Home. Below you’ll find some “glamorous” tidbits of the fun we have had…

• The choke on the backup generator got bumped to “on” as we were pulling out of Colorado – gasoline began to spew all over the RV, the road, and me… (that was a LOT of fun to clean up!)
• First night on the road, we finally made it to our destination: a wonderful RV park in Texas. It was well past midnight; the kids and I were getting the rig set up with flashlights, trying to be as quiet as we could. Then… the water line had a leak. Oh, and not just any ol’ little, drippy leak. We’re talking Old Faithful, gushing, fountain-like kind of leak. I gave up and went to bed. (Thankfully, it was an easy fix the next day with a simple O-ring… whew!)
• After day one’s adventures and getting myself drenched twice in one day, I prayed for a little calmer second day. On a little highway in Texas, I received my wish. Counting giant windmills to pass the time and miles, my children counted over 1400 in less than an hour. Gotta love West Texas.
• The adventures continued as Houston traffic became hazardous to my health and blood pressure. I have gained a new respect for anyone pulling a large trailer going five miles slower than everyone else, and for people who actually know how to use a blinker.
• Backing up with a trailer (and my whole rig is almost 50 feet long) has proved to test my best thinking skills and ability to talk to myself while driving. “Now, I need to turn my wheels right… no left… no right, to get the trailer to back up to the left?” To which my son Josh jokingly replied, “Mom? I don’t drive, why are you asking me?” (Let’s just say my comedy of errors will definitely make it in a book one day… and I'm actually pretty good at backing up now)
• Lots of rain and wood blocks under tongue of the trailer attracted ants. Lots of them. They made a nest. Let’s just say I left those blocks (and hopefully the ants) in Alabama.
• A truck driver stopped me at a truck stop in Arkansas as I was utilizing the lovely “dump” station for George (our RV) – I was hot, sweaty, and draining sewage – I’m sure it was a beautiful sight. He asked, “Hey, haven’t I seen you somewhere?” Ugh. Yep – you guessed it, he’d seen us on TV. But it gets better – he was reading my book, had it in the cab of his truck, and proceeded to ask me for an autograph. I asked him if he wanted to wait until I was done, or if he wanted me to go ahead and sign it then and there. He laughed so hard, he sat down on the ground.

These are only a few of my crazy adventures from the road. But there've been amazing, and humbling stories, too:

• People who drove three to seven hours to come to one of my booksignings
• Kayla getting to meet another 12-year-old who struggles with a rare medical condition
• Hugs and prayers from fans all over the place
• Being told I was the most powerful speaker someone had ever heard
• Seeing family and friends from years gone by
• Listening to testimony after testimony about how my book has actually changed people's lives
• Speaking in my sister's city the very week that she delivered her very first baby!

Our God is so cool - and so very good. My life may not be glamorous, but it sure is fun...

A Bus, A Megaphone, and Ty Pennington...

I'm a little frazzled right now as I prepare for a six-week book/speaking tour. But today is very special.

Two years ago today, the amazing Extreme Makeover: Home Edition team pulled up in a bus and Ty Pennington shouted to the sky and everyone within hearing distance, "Good Morning, Woodhouse Family!"

To say that it changed our lives doesn't quite express that experience correctly. Each and every day I wake up and praise God for what He's done.

I'm so thankful. Thankful for this amazing home. Thankful for my kids' health improvements. Thankful for the opportunities that have opened up because of this. And thankful for the chance to encourage and bring hope to other people in need.

Thank you all for your encouragement, love, and support. Thank you for your notes, your hugs, your buying 20 copies of my book to give to friends. :) Thank you for traveling this journey with us.

A special thanks to Matt and Shannon Swanson. You are precious to us. Thank you for all you did to make this possible. And thanks to the community of Colorado Springs.

God is so good.

I pray you are all blessed by our story - and let me remind you that His joy is always there.

Three Years and Counting...

Today marks the three-year anniversary of my beautiful daughter Kayla's brain decompression surgery.

Our great God never ceases to amaze me. I look at my incredible kids every day and am marveled by His grace and love.

And what I think about on Sept. 26 is the fact that Kayla's brain was being squished by her skull. Part of her skull has since been removed, part of the top two vertebrae were drilled out, and her dura membraine was opened up and made bigger. Looking at her today, I can hardly believe it.

Kayla has been through so much in her life, and yet, she keeps on smiling. Each day she faces with new determination and grit. She swims miles upon miles every day, studies her Bible, does mountains of schoolwork, and brainstorms new books with me. To look at her, you'd never guess that she deals with a rare nerve disorder every day, or that she underwent such a huge surgery three years ago.

I'm attaching a picture of the kids at the Grand Canyon this past spring. Look at this picture and try to tell me our God isn't awesome. Look at this picture and try to tell me He's not the God of miracles. Look at this picture and try to tell me it's okay to whine and complain. :)

No.

Instead? Look at this picture and be amazed. Then look at your own life. Pick yourself up by your bootstraps, grab onto His joy, and smile.

Life is hard. But our God is SO good.